Author: kezha1

The other day I read this and it really got me thinking…”An egg’s true value lies in its broken state. Thus I must strive to discover the joy in surrendering my life, my todays, my tomorrows, my everything to the Lord.” But brokenness is not a characteristic we prize, nor is surrender, or obedience to anything or one. But until we willingly come under God’s authority and His rule and reign… faith and righteousness are just empty words we throw around for show. That’s because obedience is the fruit of faith, and leads to righteousness. (Romans 6:16) We will then discover that obedient submission to the call of God will open up unlimited possibilities as we allow His plan and purpose to play out in our life.

For the last five days I’ve looked at very practical and common sense ways to support those who are in mourning, with the last one not only being a no-brainer, but in all reality, should have been the first thing I wrote about. We need to lift the grieving up in prayer. In Paul’s letter to Timothy, he instructed him in the various aspects of prayer, “I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone.” (I Timothy 2:1) We have in our prayer arsenal many different types of prayer…from supplication, petition, and graditutde…to actually standing in the gap for that person.(Ezekiel 22:30) So we need to employee all these as we cover the person in prayer from the very start…asking the Holy Spirit for enlightenment and illumination rather than being nosy or a gossip. And whenever the Lord brings that person to mind… pray…for you may never know about their unspoken cries of the heart…but God does…and He’s given you the great honor of standing in the gap on their behalf.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the Law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) This Royal or Supreme Law tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves…reflecting the true essence of Christian love. Thus, we should offer support to those who are grieving in ways that truly help. Now this doesn’t mean we use the offhand but well worn remark of, “If you need anything, just give me a call.” It may make us feel good…but it’s only a hollow remark to the person struggling. Why? You’re putting the responsibility back on them to manage their lives, when their mind is numb with loss and filled with indifference. They are exhausted, overwhelmed, and too flooded with grief to even realize what needs to be done around them. This is when active listening, reading between the lines, and heeding the Holy Spirit’s leading should be implemented to intervene to help in practical ways. It may be as simple as asking yourself, “What would I need right now?” then, just do it.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) Everyone’s “Season” of mourning is different. That’s because mourning isn’t uniform or simple. It’s a deeply personal and unique process as the person slowly moves towards a “new normal”. Our job then is to allow the person the time to do so. But we tend to judge their journey according to a loss we’ve experienced…or we’re so uncomfortable with their grieving process that we push them to just “get over it.” Neither is constructive, kind, or beneficial in helping the person. Psalm 31:15 tells us that, “all our times are in God’s hands.” for that’s where grieving and mourning are safest…in the refuge of our Heavenly Father’s most capable hands… as He gives all the time needed to heal. And so we must also follow that example of grace, mercy, and love in a nonjudgmental way.

James 1:19 gives us wonderful insight into this. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” In other words, it’s a lesson into the art of active listening, thoughtful and deliberate responses, and resisting the need for emotional outbursts. Let’s be candid, we often feel very uncomfortable with silence as our mind races to fill the void with words. But there’s self-control and integrity in silence. (Ecclesiastes 3:7) And if I learned anything during my long Nursing career it was that companionable silence was okay and often welcomed by the other person. So listen deeply, ask open ended questions in order to validate their feelings, and don’t allow your own emotions to distract you from being present for them. This is where practicing the pause is so important… as we reflect on what they are saying before voicing any impulsive or reactionary remarks, unsolicited advice, or mindless chatter.

Romans 12:15 tells us to mourn with those who mourn. For the genuine unity of the Body of Christ is especially evident in the empathy of His members in moments of deep sorrow. Thus, Christianity is distinguished by our readiness to go there with those mourning. But let’s be honest…it’s awkward, uncomfortable, and even embarrassing at times to engage deeply with one another’s emotional pain. It hits too close to home and reminds us of our own losses…but that’s exactly what empathy is. Job knew it was his moral duty to care for those in pain and to stand with them to alleviate feelings of isolation…reminding them that they were not alone in their struggles. (Job 30:25) Therefore, we can use Job’s example to be present and empathetic, with a heart sensitive to the cries of the grieving. So take a deep breath, whisper a prayer, and come alongside…sharing their burden by expressing grace, love, and support…and I know God will bless you for it.

God can turn any mess you find yourself in… into a powerful message for others. He can turn your trials and tests… into a powerful and unique testimony only you will have. That’s because, we all mess up…we all flub, fumble, and make foolish decisions we regret. But by God’s Divine Sovereignty and benevolence, every hardship and random life twist can serve for our greater good under the direction of an all-knowing and loving Heavenly Father. This verse tells us that the ultimate plan and purpose of God guarantees “good” for His people. Now this does not necessarily mean a life of ease, quiet, and comfort, but it does mean that everything that happens to us is working for our benefit. So we can therefore confidently look at the “mess” we may be in today, in the light of our assurance about tomorrow.

This could have been written now by the Puritan Preacher, Charles Spurgeon. In recent years, a new term gained traction in Christian circles: it’s called The Progressive Church. For some it was a breath of fresh air, a Church that was open, inclusive, and relevant to today’s culture. But for others, it was a source of confusion, concern, and spiritual alarm. The Progressive Church emphasizes: social activism, LGBTQ inclusion and affirmation (That Biblical teachings and sexual ethics are outdated or even oppressive), a non-literal approach to Scriptures. (That the Bible is viewed as a human document – beautiful, but flawed and outdated), a de-emphasizing of sin, judgment, and Hell. (That there is no Hell, thus no need for judgment, because every person will ultimately be saved-this is called Universalism) and finally, a focus on personal experience over adhering to Doctrinal teachings. (That Jesus Christ was just an inspirational and wise man.) The Church today needs then to be very careful in watching for worldly influences that infiltrate and slither within their walls. Is the Bible still God’s Authoritative Word? Does Jesus remain your Savior and not just some nice symbol? Has sin been completely redefined and Salvation is now merely an option?

This reminds me of the story of Paul and Silas in prison. (Acts 16:16-40) They had been arrested for preaching the Gospel, stripped, severely flogged, and thrown into the inner cell of the prison with their feet fastened in stocks. But rather than giving up all hope, it tells us that at about midnight the two of them were praying and singing hymns. And it’s in that small gesture that we can find the true example of steadfast faith and Godly character. For when there’s nothing to hold on to…we hold on to hope. One of my favorite Scriptures is found in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” In Psalm 62:5-6 and Psalm 130:5 it shows that our hope comes from Him and in His Word, so we shall not be shaken. And as we hold on to His promises and memories of God’s past devotion…it brings hope out of hopelessness, (Lamentations 3:20-21) and enables us to be joyful in hope. (Romans 12:12) Paul and Silas could of wallowed in darkness and despair…but they chose instead to worship with unwavering faith and Godly character.

Every day, with each interaction, we decide if we’ll treat the other person with kindness…or not. But we also need to be reminded that our kind acts aren’t reserved for our loved ones only…but for all those we come into contact with throughout the day. Across Proverbs we are instructed to be kind to the needy and the oppressed…but it’s usually with the ungrateful and evil ones where we find our patience and kindness running thin. But Luke 6:35 tells us that God is kind to the ungrateful and the evil, so we must be also. Our kindness then cannot be allocated just for those we love, but for all people God brings across our path. II Corinthians 6:6 reminds us that we are to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit by pure speech, pure conduct, pure motives, and a deep love for all people…thus illustrating by example the Godly character of kindness.